I Am Regretful, Da?
by SarentoKensei
Summary: Russia takes over the world. But one nation cannot control everything. They will rebel. They will want freedom. They will acheive freedom, with war.


"I think everything about this home, Earth is beautiful and magical. Since we are nations, we have infinte life, da? But if we ever do die, that would be your only chance to live here..."

Lithuania looked away. Grimacing at the pain of his slit throat. Why is he doing this to himself?

"So tell me Litva, why are you hurting yourself?"

I grab his arm and pull up his sleeve. scars ran up and diwn his arms, an especially grotisque looking one was at his wrist, once slit by a kitchen knife. The others were dine by various sharp objects.

All were self inflicted.

"The outside pain takes away from my inner misery..." He said. I know I must have looked terriby confused, but he just chuckled with a bitter tone.

"Maybe I just don't understand... What is the meaning of life?"

Why is he trying to kill himself? doesn't he love it in my home? Big sister told me he does. And I believed her!

But... Then again.

Everyone I love just... Leaves.

"Lithuania! Tell me, is something bothering you? Please, I know I'll find some way to understand. You don't have to hide your thoughts from me, da?" I beg. Please, I don't want my little Lithuania to leave!

"Do you really not get it?" He says. Tears fall from my eyes. No, I don't 'get it'. What you're doing makes no sense to me!

"No... I thought you loved me..." I mumble. Fear strikes in his eyes. I've seen this look before, but this is the first time I've recognized it as _fear._ He begins shaking, and I know it's not from loss of blood; his skin has already begun to mend.

"I-I d-do." He stutters.

"Are you lying to me Litva?"

"No..."

He says he's not lying... maybe that is the truth? He loves me. He wouldn't lie!

He knows what will happen if he lies...

So I will push away the doubt of him not loving me too. I _know _he'll tell me the truth.

Isn't that right, General Winter?

HEHEHEHE~!

I stand up, laughing happily. I leave the room he tried to commit suicide in. Slamming the door and locking it behind me.

This world is mine~

And it will be perfect. It _is _perfect! According to Great Mother Russia.

Everyone tried to control the world. Mongolia, Germany, Litva and Poland, even America!

Now it's my turn to run the show.

I shove open the heavy doors that lead to my balcony. I smile at the wonderful sight I see.

I see the world bowing down to me. Like they should be.

And all my friends stand next to me.

With Belarus and Ukraine, I'll never feel alone~

We can play fun games from our childhood together! All day long, while our beautiful earth spins.

Then they won't even notice the chains that bind them here.

This is MY beautiful world~ My Wonderland~ With magical new adventures everywhere~

As long as my world never changes. As long as the others don't try to rebel, I will be perfectly fine.

With Litva, Estonia, and Latvia, the world will be great! I love my Baltic's so...

All they have to do for happiness is listen to me, and do what I tell them to do.

But why won't they listen? I give them everything!

It's almost like they don't like my beautiful world...

* * *

Estonia let Lithuania out of his room I locked him in, them and Latvia begin whispering under their breaths. I hear my name. Lithuania shows them his neck, which is now covered in dry blood.

Why are they whispering about me?

Did I do something bad? Do they think I hurt Litva? No, I didn't. I swear on my mother's oak tree it wasn't me.

They say that I'm blind and stupid. But... I see perfectly fine!

I will tell you the truth; I've ignored the bad things. Especially from my childhood.

I guess I'm too old to do that anymore...

People ask me why I do this, why I must have everyone with me, under my rule.

I tell them how Ukraine, Belarus, Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia all left me once. With the Fall of the Soviet Union. I needed them with me. To help me.

Why did they leave me?

So I had to start over, all alone. My life was over, but now, it is no longer.

They didn't hear me screaming for them. Well, maybe they did, and just chose to ignore me. But I couldn't hold my pain in.

I'm confused now. Just _who _am I?

A Tsar, or a _psychopath?_

* * *

They are leaving me again. They broke free.

With the technology in 2034, I thought I could control them.

But now I see that I wasn't treating them with kindness.

I was beating them.

Even my two loving sisters.

I sob, but I still go to my balcony, and mumble to Lithuania, the only one that has yet to leave me.

"Welcome to my beautiful paradise, that is now slowly crumbling away... I understand that I hurt you now. That I abused you the most. Now that I've opened my eyes, and seen what I've done, will you leave me too?" Tears run down my face. Litva just stands there, staring down at World War III from my balcony. I cry harder and harder. My beautiful Earth is being destroyed. It is all my doing. My tears begin choking me. I can barely breathe. I feel like I will soon die, but you would be happy for that, wouldn't you Litva?

M-maybe Great Mother Russia should have never been born at all...

Maybe I shouldn't even exist; I bring nothing but pain and misery.

Everyone's dying. It's all my fault.

I should have never been born...

My heart is broken.

Will this nightmarish war ever be over? Will I die and be set free?

This pain I am feeling, what is it?

It's eating me alive. Will it ever end?

I shouldn't be talking. War is going on, I know nothing of pain. Besides, no one cares for my thoughts, no one ever listens.

I have no friends to listen to me anyways.

The screaming, crying, hurting, dying, suffering, I wish I could rewind time, and never try to control the world.

I close my eyes, entering my own Façade of happiness.

I'm laughing again as I open my eyes, there is no war now. I never took over the world.

Now my world is perfect once more.

Now my world is perfect.

Now my world is p-perfect.

Perfect.

Y-yes. Perfect.

Or am I just insane?

Ya ne znayu...

**Inspired by Vocaloid's Rugrats Theory.**

**One other chapter will be after this, Lithuania's PoV.**

**I hope you enjoyed.**

**Ya ne znayu...-Russian: I don't know...**


End file.
